A Brief Response to “Student Perception of Instruction” Comments

 

1. The instructor was very unreasonable, and had very little logical reasoning to back up her arguments. She is very argumentative and quite dull.

I studied literature because I like to go around making random interpretations of literary works for fun. Like, Hamlet was a Satanist, and his favorite cereal was Lucky Charms. The play is about a two schools of salmon fighting over the definition of Marxism. Because I say so.

PS: Sweetie? Do you know what “dull” means?

2. In group discussions, however, even then she was very critical, and not in a beneficial or kind way.

Sorry. Next time, I will applaud all of your efforts and give big hugs for trying. I’m sorry I hurt your widdle self esteem by correcting your answers. Because I lied and literature is about whatever you think it means.

Additionally, I feel I showed great restraint in telling you you were “off track” as opposed to “so dumb I want to staple a McDonald’s application to your homework.” Also? Miss Emily in “A Rose for Emily” was NOT a black woman. No, it is not up for debate. SHE WAS WHITE.

Sometimes, maybe many times, you are simply, totally, completely and utterly WRONG. I realize no one has ever suggested this concept to you in your entire spoiled, coddled, constructivist-school-of-thought-teaching approach, helicopter-parented existence, BUT IT’S TRUE.

3. I found class participation to be least useful because of the way she backfired at every little comment. It seemed that the answer was never correct, and if it was there was either too much information or too little, therefore it seemed to result in most cases as 0% credit.

First, I brought no motor vehicle to class, ever.

You must have been confused/stoned/texting/hungover, because there was no letter grade given for class discussion. The only way you can get a zero in anything in this class is by not doing it. Or really bombing a quiz, because, you know, literature isn’t like a math quiz where there’s ten questions and you can get ten “points” for one right answer. If you fill a whole page of BS that has something to do with the work in question, you could get a zero.

Otherwise, see response to #2 above.

4. I would say that the project(s) helped support my learning the most. It was a chance for us – the students to teach the class. I feel like I learned much more from peer presentations rather than the professors lectures which often revolved around sex and death in much unnecessary detail.

Another candidate for my “trigger-free” literature class on Care Bears, Kitty Cats, and Hugs. Or perhaps on those books of inspirational phrases with pictures of dolphins and rainbows and shit.

Just an FYI, those group presentations, as a whole, sucked greatly. Did you not notice they were not included on the exams?

5. I would say that things we turned in were most troublesome. She rarely explained what she wanted in an answer and when a question was answered, it was only right if she agreed, it didn’t matter what other scholars or scholarly internet sources said, it only mattered what she thought.

Did you know that Spark Notes and Cliff Notes were not teaching the class? No? Although I said 45756745 times that exams were based on class discussion and my interpretation and NOT on any websites written by some random dork with a BA in English?

Know what else? It’s my class. Not the internet’s. And what else? YOU are supposed to read the literature, not, as I also stated 3345873452045 times in class, read the Cliff Notes, Spark Notes, 123 Help Me, or Wikipedia.

6. The quizzes were difficult because they were graded a tad harshly at times. I was often times frustrating because I would put the work in every week and read what was assigned more than one time through and never did as well as I thought I would on quizzes. The effort and time put in did not reflect in my grade.

Please get on the phone with your therapist before you read further. Get your teddy bear. And a binky.

Ready?

Grades are given based on the final product. They are NOT given for effort. And? Even if you put in effort, it does not guarantee the results you want.

I’m sorry, but it’s called LIFE, so get a grip.

Oh, and I believe the sound of your sobs must have repeatedly drowned out the sound of me going over the answers in class and telling anyone with questions to come see me.

7.She does a good job at explaining the information, and is always keeping the class involved in discussion. Despite lack of work ethics of students in this class specifically.

HA!

8. The tests/quiz’s are very difficult and call for more in depth information than what was presented in class. Not to mention harsh grading methods.

FYI- grammar, spelling, and punctuation were part of your quiz grades. I’m not sure how the quizzes called for “more in-depth information than what was presented in class” as they were given before there was any presentation of the work in question in class.

I give this response a “D” for weak explanation and spelling and apostrophe errors.

9. The professor is dull, and brutal. She does not make it an interesting class at all, rather she makes me want nothing to do with literature whatsoever. This is because of her attitude and rudeness towards her students.

Wah wah wah! I don’t wike dis class and the teacher is mean!! She called me a poop head!

Please go sit in the corner and pout.

I really don’t care whether you like me and/or the material or not, and it’s no punishment to me if you’re going to stomp your feet and throw a tantrum at the entire discipline.

Also? Go be a pain in the ass in another field.