WARNING: William Shakespeare’s Hamlet.
Contains graphic murder scenes and mentions suicide, which may trigger thoughts of suicide, murder, or fear of being murdered in the reader. And has a really icky, scary scene where Hamlet is dragging a dead body around a dark, scary castle. (OMG, right?? Lots of people have nightmares from that shit). Readers are encouraged to snip offending passages out before reading. Or leaving the room every time “murder” is mentioned. Or offering their personal experience with suicide as a topic for an all-class group therapy session, culminating in a big group hug.
Fuck it, we’ll read Winnie the Pooh instead.
Additional triggers: pirates, thrones, wimpy girls, swords, skulls
WARNING: William Faulkner’s “A Rose for Emily.”
Contains the most evil, awful, horrible, terrible unspeakable word ever, known only by its initial, the “N” word, THREE TIMES. As it is a proven fact that saying the “N word” will cause the speaker’s tongue to turn black and fall to the ground, and the viewer’s eyes to bleed, we will take a Sharpie and eradicate it. Those who feel they are unable to cross out the “N Word” without falling into an existential crisis may sit in the hallway and hug their “comfort animals” real hard and try not to cry. That’s more important than discussing social change in the South, right?
Additional triggers: old ladies, scary houses, sex with dead bodies.
WARNING: Mid Term Exams
These may cover trigger material from literary works involving sex, murder, death, abuse, and all other aspects of the entire human condition reflected in said literary works. Since the entirety of humanity is a known trigger for sensitive individuals, we will all stay home on exam day and read the comics. Don’t forget to feed your “comfort animal.”
Additional triggers: I think that covers them all